If there was ever a time when we depended largely on social media and the Internet, it’s now. We see people getting creative everyday regarding the things that can be achieved through social media and the list is endless. Everyday, we are occupied with other people’s lives, what they eat, where they go, their achievements, what they own, what they do, to mention but few. Sometimes, the consumption can get really overwhelming – especially when we don’t catch ourselves quickly and then we find that somehow we are all caught up in comparison.
It can begin with something as simple as a wish. A wish that you had similar things with the stranger on the ‘gram. And then a wish slowly graduates into envy > jealousy > anger > bitterness > obsession until you’re completely miserable and you don’t know who you are anymore. Yes it’s that lethal!
“Comparison stirs up discontent with who you are, what you have and what you do” – Caitlin Zick
Truth is, most of us have been brought up to be very contented, and that has largely affected our choices in life. We take pride in the fact that some of the things we are exposed to don’t freak us because we are confident in our contentment. But you see sometimes, comparison creeps in. In fact, I daresay we have all been guilty of comparison at some point in our lives. But of course, there is a distinguishing factor.
Are you intentional enough to quickly catch yourself the moment you begin to ‘wish’? Are you intentional enough to shift your mindset from comparison to gratitude or inspiration?
Do you allow yourself dwell in that place where you become so irritated with who you are and lose sight of all you should be grateful for?
The thing is, counting your blessings becomes extremely difficult when you are so fixated on someone else’s life, and all you see is how you don’t measure up.
We’re all about intentionality here on TPH, and that’s why we would do all it takes to transform our mindset from limiting beliefs that don’t allow us to manifest our best and truest selves.
Comparison is a trap and here’s why;
● It brings about an unhealthy obsession. You become so discontented with everything that you begin to obsess over the next person. You spiral over whether what they have is genuine, you start analysing everything about their lives and why they are probably where they are. I mean, all that time could have been used on yourself!
● You start journeying towards self-loathe. Everything about you starts looking wrong in your eyes. Nothing feels right. You suddenly start feeling small, the confidence disappears. You feel that if you could just have this one thing, then you’ll be fulfilled. But that’s just the beginning of ultimate dissatisfaction. You feel that you are not enough, not even for yourself. If you think that there’s a part of you that you want to work on or level up, then by all means do so. But do not approach it with the mindset that you’re lacking because that’s all you’d ever do – filling the void rather than doing something that would transform your life.
● Kindness is gradually stripped away. When you allow comparison take over, you envy and bitterness are sure to follow. Your thoughts are filled with nasty things both of yourself and whoever you’re comparing yourself with. You find a million reasons why that person shouldn’t be having what they have, and obviously that says a lot about you. Even your conversations are filled with hate because you’re always looking for ways to justify your claims. Where is the place of kindness in your thoughts and words?
HOW TO KILL COMPARISON
● The first step is to catch yourself! The moment you see that your thoughts are beginning to wander to where you don’t want, retrace your steps and steer it the way you want. This rule works for majority if things by the way.
● Make gratitude your lifestyle. There’s really no other way to say it. Everyday, recount all that you are grateful for. Trust me, comparison cannot thrive in a life of gratitude.
● Be inspired not obsessed. The thing about us is that sometimes we don’t follow people that can actually impact us, or relatable accounts. and that’s where it’s starts to go downhill. Its just a random process for us. This is where we get it wrong. You’re probably saying it’s just social media so what’s the fuss? Okay. But have you ever thought of why it affects our lives and by extension our choices so much? That’s because it’s not just social media, it’s a lot more. So do it right. It’s better to be inspired than to be obsessed. Pick what you want and move on.
● Stay In Your Lane: In typical Nigerian pidgin “Dey your Dey”. Be contented. Be contented. Be contented. But don’t be complacent. That’s just as bad as comparison.
For today, this is where we will be stopping this post.
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